What I became..

look for the child inside me,
she hides in the dark corner...
Just wanted to set myself free
instead, i grew much colder...
as im growing older...
I tried to break myself out of this...
but some memories would just haunt me down
in the sad rhythem now i find my bliss
in my smile there is a hidden frown..
my tears wouldn't race down my cheeks anymore..
By silence my words are protected
my pain i would hide within my core
as it wasn't really respected
I curve to hide my fears
feeding my soul another lie
I made it through all these years..
it's not yet my time to die..
I'll fight it all, i don't mind
but where do i go, I've lost the sight
designed picture i drew are now undefined
cary on, i tell myself... it's just all right

Smothered tears

Under my blanket I drown..
Breathing in the darkness
I'm entering the dreams town
Walking bare feet
It's a new place, I've never been before...
Ache with every heart beat...
nervous pulses rushing under my skin
Can't stop from moving forward
I hear the echo of my unsaid words...
I feel my soul shaking
The butterflies within will kill me
as the wounds inside are waking
From the very long nap
They're not healed, just bottled in...
with no distraction for the gap
that I cover with the lies....
I forgot what's it like
to be the matured one, to be wise
I can't seem to find the words to say...
So i just hold my breath and start hoping
The pain would leave me
If only I can easily speak my mind
reform the lost bond..
Might help you from being blind
I'll stop the rain to clear...
what's been hiding behind the cloud...
Maybe it can break off the fear
touching my soul to set it free
find the long lost path
rise myself back holding my own key
to the healing potion.....

My Art Project !

Well, you see I chose Art ... and God had ebtalanii with those teachers.. agh may god show them the right path lol...

I won't talk about the teachers, because if i did that would be wrong, u know =D Just come and take a look on my project, and tell me what do you think of it.. and if I really deserve the mark my teacher said she'll give... Me n my friend! [ because it's supposed to be team work.. lol ]

 hhh *sigh* she said she'll give us 22\30 .. is it fair? =S does this deserve a 22\30 ...  really?!

and then, I decided I'll draw something else, she might change her mind... So i drew this one

And this was the 2nd one I did.. when i went with my friend to give it to her today, she just gave us a blank look n said 'write ur names n go' ..

really?!!!

do my drawings really deserve a blank stare =S

How my PUMP works..

So yeah, i have diabetes since 7 years now... I got it when i was 10 years old.

I still remember how dark the world was to me when I knew that i had diabetes.. because i was a chocolate addict, big time!!

And no, it did not happen to me because i had too much chocolate.. there are many reasons.. mine was : TENSION N FEAR.

How did it happen?

I was in G4, went to a camp trip. I was the youngest in that group.. well there was another younger than me, girl but she was with her friends while i was with people who were older than me n i didn't really know them well ( no offense, but they were bloosh)

And no kidding, the place was scary... we were in saham.. the toilet was far away .. and at night those bloosh would talk about jin stories ='[ .. i was a kid !

so that fear, plus my nostalgia to my parents made me cry xD hh

I used to take injections... twice a day but my Glucose level wasn't stabled .. it always got high tho i took a lot of care and I did not really eat much.. i was skinny .. so damn skinny

then the dose got bigger, I had to take 3 times a day... yet the glucose level was not stabled.. it annoyed me so much ...

after many years of struggling.. and the unstabled Glucose level, some family friends advised me to use the pump.. which my parents told me about but i wasn't convinced of.. but because those family friends, had daughter who's younger than me 2 years, n she has diabetes too... she uses the pump and everything is simple n easy.. she can eat anything... they explained to me with details .. so I got convinced [ that was in my trip to Iraq]

Once i was back to Oman i decided I'd put on that pump

we called the specialist and he came.. explained to me more about it. The doctor <3 explained to me [ he's the sweetest, best doctor ever!] and i had to sit with the nutrition so that she explains to me what I'm supposed to do ...

this is a picture of the pump im using

 

so as you can see, there is this pipe that's connected to the body from one side, while the other side is connected with the Insulin that's in the machine shown ^

The pipe can be connected to few parts in the body, like tummy, thigh n hands..

There is a needle with the pipe, first to attach it to the body, im supposed to inject myself, and then remove the needle, whereas the pipe would be connected still, don't make that expression BECAUSE IT DOESN'T HURT... honestly =p

Now it works this way, I'm supposed to check my glucose level, enter it in the machine, and then count the amount of carbohydrates I'm gona eat.. insert it in the machine.. It would decide how much insulin i need at that current moment... n it will give me what I need.

The times I take the machine out, when showering, swimming and anything involves water... Also when exercising and playing sports.

Now, because of this device<3 i can eat and drink everything i want.. i Just have to bother calculating .. Life's just beautiful <3

xo

OMG OMG !!!

Okay so it was one boring Wednesday... Winter days.. 

which only means the weather is awesome! It was G10 .. 

So i was sitting in my room, on my bed.. Using the laptop.. And well there was no one home but My Brother 'Stiffmeister', The maid And I ...

it was 5'ish... and i received a message from 'Majnoona' [ a dear very damn close friend!] and she wrote 'omg, L**** shoofii el world!! '   [[ L**** is my name ofx :p n trans : look at the world ]]

So without questioning.. I just jumped out of my bed.. started running like a maniac around the house saying " OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG " .. went to living room running to go outside the house.. and well 'Q' was sitting there and man he jumped, got scared when he saw me running n shouting 'OMG' =P

he came after me .. to see whats going on... 

As i reached out i looked up to the sky n was like

Me :  OMG OMG =O 

Q *shouting*:  'what's happening why r u looking up n shouting OMG??

Me : OMG OMG

Q *looking up to the sky* : WHAT?! SPEAK UP, WHAT HAPPENED?

Me *looking puzzeled* :  I don't know =S

Q : huh?

Me : Majnoona just sent me a message saying shoofii el world! So i came running to look at the world =S

Q : IDIOT!!! ask her what is it -_- you scared me =S

I walked in, texted her " what's with the world.. what happened??"

she replied " its treating me in weird way i saw someone who looks like ***** "

....

=$ 

yes so... all the running and the OMGs was for nothing.. just a reaction i thought i should make =$ haha

Q is my bro.. he doesn't want me to mention his name maybe? I didn't ask for permission =P we're kind'f ... the type who don't like sharing much I guess xD

Oops,, My iPhone fell in the water!!!!

June 13, 2010 ... Will never forget this day.. ever [ ok tho my bestie jus reminded me of the date, because well i Tend to forget a lot... but not the incident =P got it?]

it was one summer lazy day... I was sleeping... and I won't share the details, but oops... my iPhone accidentally fell in water...

How.. Where... When... Who... I WONT SHARE! =$

I just remember that my half closed eyes were open wide once it fell in the water... & without wasting a second i grabbed my iPhone holding it close.. like it's a scared baby or something while the sound of my drowning phone kept on echoing in my ears!!

True, i cried.... in fear and horror lol..

I bought my iPhone 3Gs .. on my 17th birthday, may 8th 2010 .. And just after one month it falls in the water.. hh *sighs*

i called some of my friends, who have iPhone since long time [ because I'm a new user!] and One of my friend said ' put it in the rice ' i laughed n thought it was a sarcastic joke.

I googled and to my surprise, it had something to do about rice!

To anyone out there who dropped any of the iPhones or iPods in the water, this really works!

and you're not the only one who dropped your phone in water, believe me what I've read was just so shocking haha.. 

So if your phone fell in water, this is what u have to do :

-  Shake it off, it helps gettin rid of the droplets of water in :p

-  use the blow dryer to dry the water inside the phone, put the blow dryer so that it goes thru the wholes of the place where u enter the charger, and the earphones!

-  finally keep it in a plastic bag full of uncooked rice, make sure there is no air in the plastic bag. Make sure u keep the iPhone in there for 3-4 days... because the rice absorbs all the water, n it gives heat to the phone.

and then the magic happens.. your phone starts to work again.

But i faced another problem, which was that my Home button didn't work so I had to give it to the shop so they fix it, I lived misreble days without my iPhone xD but thankgod it's back now...

and remember fellaz,, what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger.. oh yeah my iPhone is strong now :p bwahahha